Friendship Over Loveship

December 2015⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Jill asked if I would like to go an artists holiday market in Seattle with her. This was the first time we spent the day out and about together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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She was playful, interested in others and kind to everyone we met. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I can still remember sitting at a round table, in a food court setting, watching her walk away wearing a tan colored, camel-hair trench coat and her favorite cowboy boots. She had no idea how sexy she was. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I wasn’t about to tell her either. She was in the midst of an emotional, long-distance romance with someone who was inevitably unavailable. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I knew my role with Jill was friendship and we built it around conversation and helping each other with projects. We did stuff. We went places. We talked daily. We supported each other. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I wanted Jill to be happy and when I saw the writing on the wall around her long distance romance I was honest. “Jill, you deserve someone who is emotionally and physically available. Until this person is those things your romance will be in perpetual turmoil. If this situation feels good to you then stay. If this situation feels miserable to you then walk away. You deserve 100% because you give 100%.”, she was silent. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I have always loved Jill separate from me. She was never a possession, she was a friend. Someone I cheered on and supported. I looked up to her, I still do. She is my voice of reason when I react with ego or fear. She champions vulnerability as courage and empathy as the way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I hold our relationship loosely in my open hand encouraging her to spread her wings and fly. Just remember dinners ready at 7 and I’m not waiting.